I did not grow up as a Christian. Yes, I believed in God, but the relationship was not there. My mind was shaped by my peer group; and since I was a latch-key kid, by soap operas. Luke and Laura on General Hospital were my teachers in the art of love, and my alcohol-experimenting, hormonally-charged friends were there to guide and shape my mind in the ways of the world. Needless to say, I was steeped in their thinking; My mind soaked with untruths.
Fast-forward a bit: When I came to know the Lord in my thirties, I had new friends to shape and mold me. As a new Christian, my mind was ready to be soaked in something wonderful and new. I sopped up every bit of what I was learning. I needed to be a good person, and these new friends would show me how to “act.” ”Yes, I see! Church service is the way for me!” That was my song. I quickly adopted all the right language and started serving right away. I cooked, cleaned and babysat. I became a treasurer of one Christian group while being a secretary for another. I visited the elderly, played hand bells, and I sang. I started to see the error in my ways one fine, exhausted Sunday morning as I stood in front of the church in my choir robe lip syncing. Yes, you see, I cannot sing!! Cannot carry a tune in a bucket-type of non-singing talent. Once again, the chameleon had changed her colors to suit those around her. Why? Because I had no clue who I was inside for real, and I desperately wanted to earn God’s love.
I would love to say that I figured it all out after realizing the errors that most of my life contained, but I did not. I did quit everything but a few things that I was gifted at, but my mind began a journey of self-hatred because I felt I never measured up. It was not until the past couple of years that I realized what a war was going on inside my mind. Years of wrong thinking had left me so weak. The chameleon had no idea what color she truly was.
Going on a journey to find out who you truly are inside is exciting, but the years of not letting God take control of my heart and mind through prayer and His Word have left chinks in my armor; weak spots for Satan to attack. And, he does. In my devotions time and time again, God reminds me that the battle rages on for control of my mind; for that is where the battle is won or lost. I cannot fight this battle on my own. I need the full armor of God strapped tightly around me.
Ephesians 6:13-17 says: Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
As I venture into finding out who I truly am in Christ, I need to remember Romans 8:6: The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.
I do choose life and peace. Daily, I need to set my mind on Him for it is only in His word and through quiet times with Him that I will find life and peace and who I truly was created to be.
© Skye A., 2013, All Rights Reserved
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